You
can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once, and move on.
-
Homer Simpson
Good advice for those of us in the business of collecting
accounts receivable. We tend to take the non payment of invoices as
a personal failure. It's not! It's a natural part of business. If it
weren't, would there be "Bad Debt Reserve" in your
accounting procedures? The mission of any good third party
collection agency is to keep your write offs to a minimum. So, if
you must blame yourself, do it once and outsource the problem. It
will stop choking your thoughts and allow you to concentrate on the
fresher, more collectable accounts.
OK, I admit it, I like The Simpsons! I never really
believed it was a kid's show from the beginning. I'm old enough to
remember Jackie Gleason and his show The Honeymooners.
Homer seems to have a bit of Ralph Kramden in him. Can life get any
better for Homer J. Simpson? He juggles the roles of husband,
father, safety inspector at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant,
bowler, beer drinker, astronaut, small business owner and dreamer,
and makes it all look easy. But it wasn't always so easy for Homer.
Raised by his father, Abe, who tried to compensate for the absence
of Homer's radical hippie mother; Homer graduated at the bottom of
his high school class and managed to earn the distinction of being
the longest- term entry-level employee at the plant. Together with
his high school sweetheart, Marge Bouvier, Homer settled down in
Evergreen Terrace, the nicest upper-lower-middle class section of
Springfield, to raise his three precious children. Homer is fond of
Duff Beer, donuts, Marge's pork chops and watching the Bee Guy on
the Spanish channel. His dislikes include his boss, Mr. Burns, yard
work and his neighbor, Ned Flanders. Now you know!
David
Ward, CEO
|
|
| |
Greetings!
Welcome back to the Delta Recovery Systems monthly newsletter. This
month we're highlighting a new service offering, known as our 21 Day
Plan. Otherwise, we're keeping the mood light as the dog days of summer
set in. As always, we welcome any comments, suggestions and/or questions
you may have concerning our newsletter and industry issues in general.
Comments,
Suggestions and Feedback
|
| |
|
|
|
Delta
Recovery Systems 21 Day Plan is a service offered to our clients
as an alternative for accounts they would normally send straight
to an attorney. Delta Recovery Systems will accept your placements
for a 21 day collection process. The requirements for this plan
are that the accounts must be over Fifty Thousand dollars and
under 120 days since invoice date. If Delta Recovery Systems
succeeds in opening a dialogue, receives a promise of payment,
payment in full, a good faith payment, an approved settlement,
puts a payment plan in place, or initiates a payment plan, we will
then keep the collection in- house. If no collection is initiated
we will return your placement with a closing letter for you to
forward to the attorney of your choice.
|
|
| |
|
| |
| |
|
|
|
Well,
we're half way through the summer. I've decided to take a break
from my usual letter, and go off on a somewhat silly tangent.
Let's just call it some light summer reading.
I'm
sure you've seen more than a few horror, thriller, slasher, (call
them what you will) movies. I know I have. As a public service, I
am giving you the keys to how to survive should you find yourself
the subject of one of those movies. Here's all you need to know:
- 1. When it seems that you've killed the monster, never check
to see if it's really dead.
- 2. If you find that your house is built upon or near a
cemetery, was once a church used for black masses, and had
previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died
in some horrible fashion or who performed satanic practices,
move away immediately.
- 3. Do not search the basement, especially when the power has
just gone out.
- 4. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other
language which they do not know, or if they speak using a
voice other than their own, shoot them at once. It will save
you a lot of grief in the long run. Note: it's unlikely
they'll die easy, so be prepared.
- 5. When you have the benefit of numbers, never go alone.
- 6. If you're searching for something that caused a noise and
find out that it's just the cat, leave the room immediately if
you value your life.
- 7. If you're running from the monster, you will most likely
trip or fall. If you are female you definitely will.
- 8. Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of
which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania,
Nilbog (God help you if you recognize this one), the Bermuda
Triangle, or any small town in Maine, especially if it is
called Derry.
- 9. If your car runs out of gas at night, do not go to the
nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help.
- 10. When something bad is chasing you, bear in mind that
when you try to start your car, no matter how reliable the
vehicle is normally, you'll have to crank the engine over many
times before it will fire up.
- 11. People arriving to rescue you generally get ambushed by
the monster, so don't rely on them as your only means of
escape. In fact, expect to be surprised and delayed by
encountering their flayed corpse at some point.
- 12. Do not call the police as they are either possessed by
the evil and will turn you in or will not believe you and
laugh at you. Either way, you must handle the problem
yourself.
- 13. If you are using a gun to combat the all- consuming
evil, it is a good idea to quickly find a new means of
defense, because no matter how much ammo you have, you'll run
out just before you kill the monster.
- 14. If you have defeated the monster, pay close attention to
the camera, if it pans away for no apparent reason at all, get
the heck out of there.
- 15. Skeptics are always proved wrong in some horrible,
nasty, painful way. Be a believer.
- 16. If you are a child, don't panic! Monsters only attack
overly hormonal teenagers. Children can NOT be killed in a
movie, only possessed or absorbed. So cheer up!
- 17. If you've beaten the monster into a bloody pulp and
you're sure he must be dead, take the opportunity to
dismember, burn, eat, blow up or otherwise utterly destroy
him.
Follow
these rules and you should be OK for the rest of the summer. Oh,
by the way, at all costs, stay away from abandoned summer camps!
|
|
| |
|
| |
|
